Road To Recovery Part 1

I am using New York and my passions as a reminder of the complete Self I am. Of course, the thoughts of the things that are making me anxious would appear, but overall I was successful.

I went to eat at Cafe Con Leche with my sister, my brother in law and a friend of his. At that time, I met a gal, Liz, who is going through some of the same things I am going through, so it is nice to find support. Through her, I learned about my current situation. At the same time, I enjoyed a walk in Central Park and got to know a Castle. Sis and I also cried together over recent deaths for five minutes, because some things in Central Park reminded us of loved ones. But we composed ourselves and at the end we enjoyed.

After I said goodbye to them, I enjoyed a leisurely walk through the streets of Manhattan, although I was looking for the 6 train, that would connect with the N or R trains to go to Astoria. I had a book club there. We were discussing The Kite Runner, which I finished fortunately before the tragic events and difficult decisions of last week happened to me. But the people were warm and friendly. I guess this is what I need, filling my life with more people and activities.

I missed going to the Mandir in Deepawali ("Festival of Lights" in India). I wanted to spend it even with Sahishnu and Laxmi or with Sattvic, but there were reasons why I couldn't do it, the only one I can reveal being that it would not be nice to go to a festival while mourning a death.

Anxiety came from time to time, but not as much. I guess I just needed to keep things fun but calm. I am not looking for excitement as much as I am looking for peace. And I think today I made a remarkable job.

Reflections, On How To Get Back to One's Self!

I have not felt like myself this past week. And by myself it means, the happy, peaceful girl who loves New York.

Way too much going on.

Several events went this past week that made me go in a retreat mood. I have not been this girl who speaks with a smile in her face... I need to recover her.

So, I have a game plan to recover that gal. It has included giving up a few things I have been happy with for a week. But there are other steps...

I need to reconnect with my passions. I think I have had lost touch with it a lot.
I am watching funny movies also.
Thought stopping, trying not to think the things that have overwhelmed me as a result of some events.
And also, thinking which events could I go. I need to reconnect with my passion for books and independent movies, which I have been doing, although not very heartedly.

I actually need to get back I touch with myself. This past week threw me out and I became very existential. I had to be my own Social Worker and my own client last Saturday, just taking a hard look at where I am and where my life is headed.

I am not known for giving up, mind you. If I am seeing I am lacking peace, I go ahead and recover it. I also need to tell others that you should never be hard on yourself when you become extremely anxious. It happens to the best of us. But the idea is to get back to where you have always been.

So, I am trying to cultivate a lot of passions this week that I need to cultivate, as well as taking a small course on new relaxation techniques. I need to put my life in order in order to share my usually happy self with others.

I am sure I will decompress this week.

In other words, if you feel overwhelmed about things, decompress. It is not a matter of staying alone, but a matter to get back in touch with your self and your center. Do a game plan, take a hard look at yourself, and come to grips with things if you need to.

On Goals, On Life, On Blogs

Geez, blogs require a discipline. If I want to blog, I am going to need such discipline myself. It has been a while since I wrote and there is a lot going on in my life worth blogging about.

I will summarize with lessons I have learned from life and New York.

• If Astoria had a Barnes and Noble and some galleries, it would be perfect.
• I have to stop reading into financial news. It is depressing! It spoils my mood.
• I am learning to type with all of my fingers. It is taking me a while to learn because of certain wired things in my brain, but I have never given up. In fact, I am good with accuracy right now, but I need to work on my speed.
• My new obsession right now is about books of communication. I am especially interested in learning to start conversations, be more assertive and learning body language.
• As for fiction, Sattvic gave me the book Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse. I have read the book before and also watched the movie quite a few times, but it is always worth watching again. In addition, I am finishing to read The Kite Runner.
• I love DUMBO in Brooklyn. I could not make it to all of the interactive stuff around, but even the art galleries were worth exploring. I also went with Sattvic to the Metropolitan Museum of art, which we naturally did not finish.
• I am taking a course of how to apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with clients. It is not related to my current job but it is related to my career. In a way, this is also therapy because in order to be an effective Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, I have to learn to apply it on myself. Now, I used to be extremely emotional before, so I already had some practice of how writing made me become less impulsive and emotional because I would step back and see the pattern of my thoughts. Now, I do NOT recommend showing the contents of the book to anyone else, because there is so much emotion pouring to it that it will give your loved ones the wrong idea.
• I will also take an Art of Living course later this month.
• Oh, on Monday I went to Winegasm here in Astoria. It is an amazing place to be. I met a few people but forgot the phone of one of them. I guess I will have to wait for next time.