Between yesterday and today, I have been feeling very edgy. It might be due to the stress of change. I was not coming here with the smile on my face I expected to arrive with. For a neurotic person like myself, being over the edge is not a good thing.
I hope I find an apartment within a week. I was going to have my first two interviews but I canceled both. I was (and still am) extremely tired. Tomorrow, however, I have two or three interviews for apartments. Let us see how those go.
I have plenty of things to do and I need to organize my time. I need to keep studying for the licensure, send things to the ASWB of New York, and hopefully I won't need to cancel social commitments. I also need to buy a pair of jeans and a good partying shirt.
During my trip in the plane, I was feeling bloated and with stomach pain. And feeling bloated means partially feeling fat.
Ahh and now the reasons about coming to New York (aside for the fact that I have a job and friends here).
My sister was a fan of Sex and The City, and there was some quote in a chapter saying that girls came to New York looking for love, or something like that. But I feel I come to New York in search of my destiny or, to quote Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist, to search and live my personal history. Quoting others aside, I need this time and what is happening to me. My heart is soft and I need to make it hard. I need to defy some of the expectations and conventions society has imposed on me, perhaps in a bigger way than I have been doing so until now.
As I landed, clouds covered New York City. I was feeling as if this was a present I was unwrapping, or as if I was feeling in front of the curtain for this chapter in my life.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Summarizing the last two days. (Two days away from my return to New York)
Okay, after studying yesterday, I went to Damen. This is an avenue here in Chicago that is famous for its artistic scene and its cafes. When I entered to Reckless Records, which is a record shop famous for having a wide selection of Chicago's local underground bands, and other underground music... It downed on me that I might be one of the few, if not the only Hispanic in the shop. I made a deconstruction of the experience in my other blog.
After that, O. T. paged m. OT is a lawyer and a third generation Mexican American whom I met in Livejournal, where we both blog.. This would be the second time this guy and I would hang out together. He lives in Chicago, but it is in my third visit here that we had the chance to meet personally. We ate at Earwax Cafe (which, despite the potentially repeling name, it serves excellent Vegetarian sandwiches), and then, he decided to show me a bit of the city.
We both walked to a bar in Milwakee, which name escapes me. The owner was very friendly and intelligent and we three talked about politics. We were discussing the possibilities of McCain winning, and he came with the theory that McCain might pick Condolezza as his running mate. That would be the ultimate irony, but I think this election has been about ironies and about being a bit more frank about issues that in America are pretty much taboo (institutionalized racism and sexism still alive). I think I will go about this in my other blog.
Back to the bar: different concerts, and as far as bars go, this one looked really nice, albeit too dark for my taste (but maybe lights were not on because it was still daylight). Then, O.T. walked me much of the way through Damen and we stopped in a second bar. At the beginning, I was reluctant and I wanted to go to the lounge besides it, but I felt I was too informally dressed (it was all in the shoes), so we ended up in the bar.
Aside of the fact that smoking is forbidden in the bars (this law has NOT been passed in South Carolina as I write), the bars here in Chicago have ambience. While I still prefer lounges, I have hope in finding bars with it.
Right after that, OT walked me to the station and we talked a lot about many things. He is an awesome guy and I would definitely love to hang out with him again.
Then, I spoke with SJ, one of my long distance buddies I met rather randomly. We have talked for a year and have built quite a good friendship. He placed new pictures in his profile and I went through them... That after he buzzed me to say hi. Tired to type to him, I decided to call and we talked for a while. Sometimes it is much better to hear a friend's voice. It feels more human.
Today was rather boring. I was disappointed because I wanted to get out for the second to last time before going to New York. But at least I could concrete some appointments of people who will show me apartments (mostly in Astoria, a zone in Queens that I love). In addition, I have various hang out propositions. Let's see how it all pans out.
After that, O. T. paged m. OT is a lawyer and a third generation Mexican American whom I met in Livejournal, where we both blog.. This would be the second time this guy and I would hang out together. He lives in Chicago, but it is in my third visit here that we had the chance to meet personally. We ate at Earwax Cafe (which, despite the potentially repeling name, it serves excellent Vegetarian sandwiches), and then, he decided to show me a bit of the city.
We both walked to a bar in Milwakee, which name escapes me. The owner was very friendly and intelligent and we three talked about politics. We were discussing the possibilities of McCain winning, and he came with the theory that McCain might pick Condolezza as his running mate. That would be the ultimate irony, but I think this election has been about ironies and about being a bit more frank about issues that in America are pretty much taboo (institutionalized racism and sexism still alive). I think I will go about this in my other blog.
Back to the bar: different concerts, and as far as bars go, this one looked really nice, albeit too dark for my taste (but maybe lights were not on because it was still daylight). Then, O.T. walked me much of the way through Damen and we stopped in a second bar. At the beginning, I was reluctant and I wanted to go to the lounge besides it, but I felt I was too informally dressed (it was all in the shoes), so we ended up in the bar.
Aside of the fact that smoking is forbidden in the bars (this law has NOT been passed in South Carolina as I write), the bars here in Chicago have ambience. While I still prefer lounges, I have hope in finding bars with it.
Right after that, OT walked me to the station and we talked a lot about many things. He is an awesome guy and I would definitely love to hang out with him again.
Then, I spoke with SJ, one of my long distance buddies I met rather randomly. We have talked for a year and have built quite a good friendship. He placed new pictures in his profile and I went through them... That after he buzzed me to say hi. Tired to type to him, I decided to call and we talked for a while. Sometimes it is much better to hear a friend's voice. It feels more human.
Today was rather boring. I was disappointed because I wanted to get out for the second to last time before going to New York. But at least I could concrete some appointments of people who will show me apartments (mostly in Astoria, a zone in Queens that I love). In addition, I have various hang out propositions. Let's see how it all pans out.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Arrangements and Displacements
Before I start writing, I might want to warn that for now, I have plans about protecting the privacy of my friends. I will either change the names or use initials or key letters in their names . Of course, I won't spell very juicy gossip either.
Summer greeted me yesterday in a funny way. My otherwise toned down makeup was slightly stronger, and I hope it did not look too dramatic for the day.
I was testing how would it feel like to write inside of a moving train. Lesson learned: the city trains are not good places to write.
This weekend was more socially intense than my average week in Chicago. First, I met KK and Bh, two Telugu guys living in Chicago who I met in the camp I went to in New Jersey. And on Sunday, I visited a married couple of friends.
One of the clear signals that I am in a big metropolis was surrounding me while I was waiting for my friends: the quantity of people and cars, people with extravagant makeups; a whirlwind of activity in other words. For someone who lived in rather smaller and quieter college towns during my first decade in the US of A, this signal hit me full force. Weekends in South Carolina tended to be more shut down.
Anyway, KK, Bh and I walked to the lake, all the way to Navy Pier. During a break of the lake, I noticed some wonderful and weird bicycles (too bad I could not take a picture). As soon as we arrived to Navy Pier, the guys bought tickets to Kung Fu Panda, and then we went to eat in an italian restaurant there (Name forgotten!). I was very curious about the cheeseless pizzas, so I asked for one, and I shared it with the guys, while trying KK's pizza (also without cheese. Plenty of tomatoes instead).
Kung Fu Panda is the first movie I watched in an I-Max theatre. And really, the quality of sound and image was good... But the content of the movie left a lot to be desired, even for a Hollywood production.
After the friend I was going to hang out with me cancelled plans, KK and Bh walked me to the closest Brown Line station. Unfortunately that left me wonder, when will I see the nightlife of Chicago? Then again, I am also wondering when will I see the musical scene of Chicago. I would love to go to Loolapalooza and the Pitchfork festival, but I doubt I will be able to go this year. Maybe next time.
As for Sunday, I visited Radha and Nashu. They are an absolutely awesome couple, and it was nice to see them cooking together. This also made me confirm that arranged marriages can really work for some people. Now, I am not one to recommend everyone to take this path, nor quantify or generalize about people who partook this. As a matter of fact, I have witnessed both sides of the coin when it comes to this issue. But in some people, when done right (meaning, getting to know the person and having a say in the partner), can succeed at times.
One theme arrived in conversations this weekend. Yesterday KK and Bh told me about their intentions to return to India, a theme that re-appeared in today's conversation. See, I am a foreigner who has been out of Venezuela for 10 years. The first few years I wanted to return, but I also visited often. Because of a combination of circumstances, I had to abruptly stop visiting, and that, combined with the political deterioration of my country made me loosen my connection in some levels. Nowadays, I tend to advice others that if they want to return to their countries, to do so while they are not used to America (or whichever country they are at), so the transition is smooth. Such issues as marriage, jobs and, in my case, getting used to how things work in this country and the lifestyle I "created/adopted" here, can make the transition more difficult. I, for one, have lost all hope to go back, although I will still identify as Venezuelan (more on this in future posts. I am sure this will be a recurrent theme). To be honest, this is one constant pain in my life, but I have learned to live with it.
Nashu brought this up when we were talking, because Radha says he did not see dramatic differences between here and India. Nashu said that one of his colleagues went to visit in India and then said that, while she loved it, she was glad of being back in America. Although he also said that, in his experience, transition can run more smoothly when you visit your home country very often.
Ahh tomorrow I will be back with the same studying routine. I return to New York next thursday. Hopefully by then I will be ready to take the licensure text.
Summer greeted me yesterday in a funny way. My otherwise toned down makeup was slightly stronger, and I hope it did not look too dramatic for the day.
I was testing how would it feel like to write inside of a moving train. Lesson learned: the city trains are not good places to write.
This weekend was more socially intense than my average week in Chicago. First, I met KK and Bh, two Telugu guys living in Chicago who I met in the camp I went to in New Jersey. And on Sunday, I visited a married couple of friends.
One of the clear signals that I am in a big metropolis was surrounding me while I was waiting for my friends: the quantity of people and cars, people with extravagant makeups; a whirlwind of activity in other words. For someone who lived in rather smaller and quieter college towns during my first decade in the US of A, this signal hit me full force. Weekends in South Carolina tended to be more shut down.
Anyway, KK, Bh and I walked to the lake, all the way to Navy Pier. During a break of the lake, I noticed some wonderful and weird bicycles (too bad I could not take a picture). As soon as we arrived to Navy Pier, the guys bought tickets to Kung Fu Panda, and then we went to eat in an italian restaurant there (Name forgotten!). I was very curious about the cheeseless pizzas, so I asked for one, and I shared it with the guys, while trying KK's pizza (also without cheese. Plenty of tomatoes instead).
Kung Fu Panda is the first movie I watched in an I-Max theatre. And really, the quality of sound and image was good... But the content of the movie left a lot to be desired, even for a Hollywood production.
After the friend I was going to hang out with me cancelled plans, KK and Bh walked me to the closest Brown Line station. Unfortunately that left me wonder, when will I see the nightlife of Chicago? Then again, I am also wondering when will I see the musical scene of Chicago. I would love to go to Loolapalooza and the Pitchfork festival, but I doubt I will be able to go this year. Maybe next time.
As for Sunday, I visited Radha and Nashu. They are an absolutely awesome couple, and it was nice to see them cooking together. This also made me confirm that arranged marriages can really work for some people. Now, I am not one to recommend everyone to take this path, nor quantify or generalize about people who partook this. As a matter of fact, I have witnessed both sides of the coin when it comes to this issue. But in some people, when done right (meaning, getting to know the person and having a say in the partner), can succeed at times.
One theme arrived in conversations this weekend. Yesterday KK and Bh told me about their intentions to return to India, a theme that re-appeared in today's conversation. See, I am a foreigner who has been out of Venezuela for 10 years. The first few years I wanted to return, but I also visited often. Because of a combination of circumstances, I had to abruptly stop visiting, and that, combined with the political deterioration of my country made me loosen my connection in some levels. Nowadays, I tend to advice others that if they want to return to their countries, to do so while they are not used to America (or whichever country they are at), so the transition is smooth. Such issues as marriage, jobs and, in my case, getting used to how things work in this country and the lifestyle I "created/adopted" here, can make the transition more difficult. I, for one, have lost all hope to go back, although I will still identify as Venezuelan (more on this in future posts. I am sure this will be a recurrent theme). To be honest, this is one constant pain in my life, but I have learned to live with it.
Nashu brought this up when we were talking, because Radha says he did not see dramatic differences between here and India. Nashu said that one of his colleagues went to visit in India and then said that, while she loved it, she was glad of being back in America. Although he also said that, in his experience, transition can run more smoothly when you visit your home country very often.
Ahh tomorrow I will be back with the same studying routine. I return to New York next thursday. Hopefully by then I will be ready to take the licensure text.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Okay, My Muse Wins, I will Start Earlier!
I was intending to leave this project to the time I would move to New York (which, by the way, it is going to happen next thursday). I figured it would make more sense to do so because of the new chapter in my life that would start right there. Well, apparently my muse was desperate and had other parts. Perhaps I should blame it to the anticipation of a new chapter to come. Besides, Chicago, where I am right now, is another urban landscape that will be part of my life in years to come.
Some , if not most, of the things I write here come from a notebook. Why is this?
I have a digital camera. I use it to take pictures of whatever I find worthy wherever I go. When it comes to pictures, I tend to be pretty spontaneous. Then, when I transfer the pictures to my computer, I tend to select the ones that will go in the internet albums. This is the same case with the notebook; I will chronicle significant happenings and thoughts whenever it is possible to me, before I forget them, and then see if they are worth being in the blog. This will let me analyze, determine and edit the content before it hits here.
I wish I could just carry the laptop, but there are advantages with the notebook. No need to turn it on, just open it and it's done; and it is not as heavy. Especially when it comes to walk through the city and considering my current pain in the back, it is important.
Some , if not most, of the things I write here come from a notebook. Why is this?
I have a digital camera. I use it to take pictures of whatever I find worthy wherever I go. When it comes to pictures, I tend to be pretty spontaneous. Then, when I transfer the pictures to my computer, I tend to select the ones that will go in the internet albums. This is the same case with the notebook; I will chronicle significant happenings and thoughts whenever it is possible to me, before I forget them, and then see if they are worth being in the blog. This will let me analyze, determine and edit the content before it hits here.
I wish I could just carry the laptop, but there are advantages with the notebook. No need to turn it on, just open it and it's done; and it is not as heavy. Especially when it comes to walk through the city and considering my current pain in the back, it is important.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Preview
So, if you look at my bio, it says it all. I just graduated and I am almost thirty. In many ways, I have accomplished things I have dreamed about: having a job in New York, seeing some of my former batchmates and having a circle of at least one of the kinds of people I love to hang out with. So the new stage of my life is having a good start.
But there is still uncertainty. And anxiety about uncertainty is the price I pay for looking for excitement.
I don't know how exactly will I chronicle this new stage. I guess I will have to see other blogs about how people tell their lives. I also want to use this as a way to communicate with some of my batchmates.
I have another blog in Livejournal. This blog is more complete in that sense. But I lock the entries and show it to members because that one is more about a therapy. I am wondering if changing names or using initials with people will do the trick.
This is not merely to tell my life or rambling about that. It will hopefully be about those aspects of what happen in my life that make me think... and hopefully the reader can relate.
Stay tuned.
But there is still uncertainty. And anxiety about uncertainty is the price I pay for looking for excitement.
I don't know how exactly will I chronicle this new stage. I guess I will have to see other blogs about how people tell their lives. I also want to use this as a way to communicate with some of my batchmates.
I have another blog in Livejournal. This blog is more complete in that sense. But I lock the entries and show it to members because that one is more about a therapy. I am wondering if changing names or using initials with people will do the trick.
This is not merely to tell my life or rambling about that. It will hopefully be about those aspects of what happen in my life that make me think... and hopefully the reader can relate.
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Announcement
This blog will start once I am in New York City, in the middle of next week. Stay tuned!
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