Road To Recovery Part 1

I am using New York and my passions as a reminder of the complete Self I am. Of course, the thoughts of the things that are making me anxious would appear, but overall I was successful.

I went to eat at Cafe Con Leche with my sister, my brother in law and a friend of his. At that time, I met a gal, Liz, who is going through some of the same things I am going through, so it is nice to find support. Through her, I learned about my current situation. At the same time, I enjoyed a walk in Central Park and got to know a Castle. Sis and I also cried together over recent deaths for five minutes, because some things in Central Park reminded us of loved ones. But we composed ourselves and at the end we enjoyed.

After I said goodbye to them, I enjoyed a leisurely walk through the streets of Manhattan, although I was looking for the 6 train, that would connect with the N or R trains to go to Astoria. I had a book club there. We were discussing The Kite Runner, which I finished fortunately before the tragic events and difficult decisions of last week happened to me. But the people were warm and friendly. I guess this is what I need, filling my life with more people and activities.

I missed going to the Mandir in Deepawali ("Festival of Lights" in India). I wanted to spend it even with Sahishnu and Laxmi or with Sattvic, but there were reasons why I couldn't do it, the only one I can reveal being that it would not be nice to go to a festival while mourning a death.

Anxiety came from time to time, but not as much. I guess I just needed to keep things fun but calm. I am not looking for excitement as much as I am looking for peace. And I think today I made a remarkable job.

Old Friends Random places And DUMBOs that are not elephants

Swapna and Harshit came and left too fast. With Swapna, I visited Omonia Cafe three times in a row. We also ate at Rice and Beans at the 9th avenue, and my best recomendation for you guys is to try the fried yuca and the deserts. I also took Swapna alone to Caracas Arepa Bar, where I am planning to take, G, Sahishnu and Laxmi, Som and his wife and Sattvic... At different times, of course.

The Kid decided to just swing back in my life, although we only talk occassionally. We still talk about a lot of stuff, and I know he is seeing someone else, and still going to clubs, which he likes.

Two weeks ago, I watched Loins of Punjab, which is a hillarious movie. The theatre is at Midtown Manhattan and is called Imaginasian. I would love to see more movies in this theatre. The group of people I went to see the movie with were warm and friendly and I am in touch with one of them. There are three more people who live in Queens I should get in touch with as well. We also went to Yuva, and it is a great restaurant.

A week ago, on a sunday, I decided to embark in one of my adventures. I decided to take the E train towards Jamaica, but I got down in Van Wick which is basically the middle of nowhere. I then decided to take a bus that would run through a significan portion in Queens, and leave you just at the shore of Manhattan. You can see a sharp contrast the more you get closer to Manhattan. The houses and stores go from more humble to more residential. I just stopped at Tierra Sana to grab a bite there (in my usual saving tradition, I get only apethizers!) and then got back to the same line towards Manhattan to meet Swapna and Harshit at the Empire State.

I want to leave this weekend for writing tonight. There are interesting experiences like the MOMA and the DUMBO festivals that need to be recorded in a single entry.

A Great Colorful Week

Last week was great in many ways (Although it was ominous in others, like the death of a dear friend of the family!

Monday: Went to Bryant Park for an international chat. It was interesting being with average joes and plain janes besides the tent where they were celebrating Fashion Week! Unfortunately, I could not stay for long because I had to go to see Bottle Shock at the Quad Cinema with another group. Not only the movie was worth it (not exactly a classic, but it was worth my 10 bucks!) but then I moved on to talk about the movie with two of the guys of the group in a cozy coffee shop! My perfect night!

Tuesday: A Friendly Neighbour decided to help me out to save while buying groceries. He took me to Costco's where he is a member and adviced me what was worth buying there!

Wednesday: Sattvic and I went to watch the game of the Mets Vs the Washington Nationals live! It was the first time for both of us and the first time watching a game. It was funny because then Sattvic and I both discovered we were both afraid of heights, but were watching the game from such a height anyway.
That night, we both returned to Jackson Heights and we both talked about love. We seemed to be on the same page except that at times I seemed more bitter. He said that he has been in love, and I replied that I am not sure I was ever in love "although I did love the guys I was with, and suffered for the breakups. He would tell me that his belief was that this kind of love comes with time and with the right person. All this discussion was while eating a Mexican food.

Friday: Sattvic was bored and decided to come over to my place. We watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo, and I showed him this blog. So in other words, he is the second person offline and the first in New York that knows about it, but we have grown to be very good friends and I am not being too revealing or personal in my blog anyway, so why not.

Saturday: I went to the art galleries of Chelsea on my own and then met G., Chaitya and Aish in a Jazz Bar in the West Village. It was yet another of those perfect nights! A jazz bar and four gals! (It felt like a Sex and the City chapter at times!) The only complaint I have is that I don't like to drink in public places and I had to pay 13 dollars for the stupid drink and had to force myself to drink a bit. G. gave me some ideas about how this could be worked out next time. I overall had fun with the gals!

Sunday: Another solo coffee shop day and then went to buy a variety of vegetables. Also caught up with Nishant (who is in India, but is moving to NJ (Woo Hoo!) and with S, after a while not chatting (Dang, when is he visiting New York anyway) I am also planning the weeknights with Swapna. I topped the week cooking an awesome pasta with vegetables, tomato paste and fake meat. Delicious!

Looks Like I Need to Get Back In Loop

OK, I have come out of the shadows.

I have gotten to know more of Astoria. There is a meetup group devoted to dinner here, and I go from time to time. I already went to Indigo Lounge and I shared my table with an interesting bunch of people including a smart American gal who has travelled to a lot of countries (can't remember her name). The guys were fun too. I am looking forward to meet the group again.

Last saturday I hung out with G. to watch a Hindi movie: Bachna Ae Hasino. There, I met two of G's cousins who were cool fellows. We went to eat at Coffee Shop Bar and talked a lot before I visited Ganesh at his university. Ganesh told me he was attracted to me and I turned him down. I am not ready to tell you why yet. In fact, there are other changes in my life that I am still not ready to tell. Hopefully, Ganesh and I are still good friends. He is a very cool guy to hang out with.

As for Bachna Ae Hasino... The ending was happy but unrealistic. I would have prefer the ending with the protagonist's redemption alone, but what to do.

Today I was going to watch a movie or two at the ACE film festival. I am still deciding. Satvic told me to be careful because there is going to be a storm, so I am really having second thoughts. And if the weather shows any indication, I don't think I will go down to Manhattan to party either. However, Sunday is full of options...

I am frequenting Sattvic's company quite a bit. We have both gone to the park in Astoria, as well as Central Park. JS and N. would join us (or to be more accurate, I would join them) and we went to Chipotle in Amsterdam Avenue. The Burrito Bowl is a good option for me, since I don't eat the bread in the Burritos. I also met the Ganesh Mandir with Sattvic and his mother.

The other thing. The Kid dissappeared from my life. We just wanted different things from each other.



Yesterday, after a visit, Sattvic left me on the 3oth Avenue in Astoria. I decided to eat at Goswabi on my own. I highly recommend the Veggie lovers sushi. It is delicious.

An Enjoyable Blast From The Recent Past

I can tell you one thing. The week before last one was overall wonderful and most of the bad things happened for a good reason (Exception: loosing my camera. *sniff*)

So anyway, on Saturday, I went to meet the guys from the Retreat I met in NY. The only one I met in a more or less regular basis was Satvic, so it was nice to see the rest of the NY gang. We met at Rocco's in West Village (and I, indeed, wondered one thing: How come one gets lost when it comes to meeting with friends? This never happened to me when going solo, or maybe that has to do with my opennes to spontaneity). We ate at a paneer restaurant as well, and while I wanted to watch a French movie my sister recommended (and Satvic wanted to follow), we all ended up watching Pineapple Express, which has a typical independent movie aesthetic to it. Despite the fact that I thought I would miss the chance to watch Tell No One. That I did on thursday night, and I met two souls there. I forgot the name of the theatre at the moment but I know it is in South Houston between first and second Avenues. Not far from the Gita Studies I go with Satvic to.

Last tuesday, I went to the Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria. It was a lot of fun, and I met a few people I am hoping to catch up with in the next event. It will be great! The place is really nice, and I am glad I made it there before it starts to get cold. I think Ganesh told me about this one before, so it was great to go.

Let us jump to Friday. I went to the movies with Satvic. He knows Queens like the back of his hand, so he walked with me towards the movie theater. We both ate in Panera Bread (I have to take Swapna there) and then we went to the movies.

Satvic surprised me on Saturday. He told me to go to his place to go to the Hindu temple in Manhattan with his family. I said "surprised me" because the original plan was meeting him there. I guess New Yorkers can really be surprising at times. At that temple, we would celebrate the birth of Krishna, or Krishna Janmasthmi. There was a crowd of people of different ethnicities. A great thing. Everyone was dancing, and helping out. I even met one neighbour I want to get to know better. It is good to know people who live a few blocks from you!

As for today, I am going to the Himalaya Tea House to discuss Middlesex. I have yet to read it, but I have never been in a book club, so I guess it will pay. In addition, I am taking a typing course online to type faster.

See you next week, lovelies!

Cravings: Your Worst Enemies... And other Things that Set New York Apart.

Cravings can be your worst enemies... But in my current case, it has nothing to do with dieting and everything to do with keeping the budget.

I had a big craving of rice and vegetables. So, I tried to look for a place to eat that stuff and I ended up eating in a Brazilian buffet.

Now, in my experiences, buffets in New York are different than buffets in other cities by one important factor: they weigh the food and you pay according to the weight. An annoying thing if you ask me, because you have to be carefully arranging the food so you don't pay more than what you intend to pay.

I can't remember the name of the Brazilian buffet where I ate today, but it is located in Broadway, if you get down of the train and the bridge on the left side.

Another anecdote of New York singularities: I was once returning home with The Kid when we passed by the New York Sports Club, a gym close to my home, also in Broadway. The Kid asked "Instead of going to those gyms in Manhattan, why don't you go there?"
"Because this is New York City." I replied.
See, I would love to go to that gym. In a perfect world, I would afford it. But reality is that you go to gyms according to your budget rather than according to the distance or whether you like it. I don't even want to try new passes. I would suffer.

And is it just me or some lounges are becoming the economic answer to clubs, at least in Manhattan? Lounges are too small to get a pack dancing, and I think that with age I have grown tired of small places that are too crowded. Last saturday I went to Leopard Lounge/Sing-Sing after I met VJ for dinner and I didn't last too long in there. I felt claustrophobic, to tell you the truth. Besides, it was, well "one more party," but I went to meet The Kid there.

A Walk in the Neighbourhood

Sunday was devoted to a walk in part of my neighbourhood. There were some interesting things to learn about it...

For example: Steinway can have different personalities. A big chunk is a mall (pretty much) with all the stores of different price ranges (New York Co. and Bennetton are two stores in this streets!) But the further you walk, you end up entering in the Middle East!
New York never ceases to amaze me!

The wide range of prices within the same block, for which also I made a mistake that costed me! I entered to a cafe, attracted by the music and the ambiance, but I was intrigued the menu only had prices in the coffee... I ended up paying $21. YIKES!

Also... I NEEDED to cut my hair. The first salon charged $25 without shampoo and blow drying. I refused to cut my hair there! The second one, in the same block was $15... See the differences within the same block? Dramatic!
I have struck a friendship with a very nice Greek lady who lives three houses from me. In a country famous for an individual not knowing their neighbours, this is comforting.

And this is why I love New York. So much exploring even around the corner. Now, I will love to know where is the Museum of the Moving image.!

A Pool Closes, A Pool Opens, Dollars I have to Make worth... And the Weekend's best Laid Plans.

1. Not having bought groceries last sunday, I have had to eat my breakfast outside. It has been for the most part $1 Nature Valley bars that I buy on my way to work. Except for today, when I went to Starbucks and took one small protein shake from a brand of smoothies I don't remember. It is low in calories.
2. Today, however, I ate bits here and there, perhaps because walking a lot in the middle of the heat makes you hungry and loose energy. Let alone that I had a very busy (and very accomplished) day at work. So I ate a small sandwich at Thalia, an ice cream yogurt, a cereal bar and some chocolate... I guess I am going to have to walk a little less...
   
3. I explored some stores, including Sephora. I experimented with some makeup and I was pleased with what I got. It looked natural but I looked more fresh. I will buy this next friday with my fat check (don't get me wrong, I won't burn all the money, OK?
4. My best female friend and ex-roommate in college, who I will call Swapna (oddly enough, this is the second time I rename someone with the name of someone else I know. But this is the name that I can make a connection with) is coming to New York this coming September. I told her she could stay at my house, something I will tell Jess soon. Swapna's fiancee, "Harshit," might come too, reason for which I need to investigate an accomodation. Swapna comes both for a course of Genetics here, and to look for a job in New York. As much as I love this apartment and I am very pleased with Jess, if Swapna lands on a job and has not married Harshit at that time, I will move with her... That will be in a year though.
5. So anyway... On the job front, things have got much better. I started seeing four clients and I even saw five today. And even in complicated cases, I managed. It boosted my confidence as opposed to last week.
6. On Sunday, I went with Satvic to a Mandir (for those not Indian or familiar with Hinduism or Indian terms, Mandir is synonim of Hindu Temple). It is North Indian and Bengali for the most part, but it is near my house. I am still eager to go to the South Indian Mandir in Jamaica, the Ganesha Temple with the Jeweler, but I will have to talk to her. Or maybe I will go on my own. I am most familiar with South Indian traditions, and my trend of having a bunch of South Indian friends has not changed since I moved to New York. But I will definitely will come back to the mandir near Astoria quite often.
7. But speaking of friends in communities, tomorrow there is a Latino party in Guggenheim. There is also another one on Saturday. I want to go to the one on friday because it is more of a networking event. I was telling The Kid that I don't want to party every single friday and saturday. At 29, I have noticed that doing this in two consecutive days wears me out. Now imagine me doing this every weekend. I need more variety, you know.
8. I will work extra hours three days a week. It will be a welcome gain of extra money, extra experiences, and some other good advantages.
9. Touched base with G. We will see each other next week. I need to touch base with quite a few of my classmates!
10. Yesterday I went to the Y! Gym (I enter for free as a perk of working at the agency where I work). It was WAY BETTER than I expected.
11. I am reading Personal Velocity, by Arthur Miller's daughter (The name escapes). It is a great book!
12. An asshole from my earlier years of highschool was talking about me in Facebook saying that I was planing to get even on everyone. And I am getting even, as the best revenge is living well. I used my real name at the time, and right now I am using my nickname, so there is no way for him or the rest to tell that I am around. I knew this because the only worthy classmate I had pointed me to that forum. That confirms I have no interest in connecting with those people!
13. Ohh! Back on Sunday. I went to Jackson Heights and invested in a deal that was there. So, in that store, I was calling the lady Auntie and she asked me if I was from Afghanistan, which is something people tend to ask when I am in Muslim context, wearing a proper South Asian dress. I tend to get mistaken for a lot of nationalities, but this was the first time I was mistaken as Afghan while in jeans and a shirt (I Usually get things like "Italian" "Israeli," "Egyptian" and the sort. G pointed out the equation: "Saying Auntie + Dark hair + Tall + Fair = Afghan/ Persian." I knew in New York, which has double and triple the diversity than South Carolina, where I lived before coming here, people mistaking me for other as the Latina I am would multiply... Interestingly enough, also more Latinos identify me as one of their own without me having to speak. They speak Spanish to me immediately!
    
14. That's all I have so far... Unless I remember other things.
    

These Past Two Weeks Part 2: Central Park Concerts and The Kid

Well, as you know, there are a lot of free events at Central Park this summer. I already went to my first free concert in which I enjoyed Dengue Fever and Rachid Taha. There, I also finally met the guy who in this blog I will call "the Kid." Like me, The Kid is pretty much starting his career here in New York. We both met some of the members of Dengue Fever, and it was great fun. Once the concerts finished, we walked a lot of avenues in Manhattan to end up eating in a restaurant called Agra at the 6th street (between Lexington and 3rd, I believe), and the kid was clever enough to make sure the waiter would get very authentic food (even though it was North Indian). This occurred after trying to eat at Fig and Olive only to realize that it was beyond our budget. Ever since, The Kid and I have given each other a lot of company, hanging out together everywhere. There was a party at Tavern at the Green and we both went together. We also dined together at Tierras Colombianas here in Astoria (not the best choice for a vegetarian person on a tight budget, even with someone else paying and all. The juices are amazing though, and The Kid loved the sweet plaintain with Guava paste and cheese), and then we hung out together and flirted a lot in Bungalo, a lounge in Broadway street not far from that restaurant. Really cozy, and decent music to dance (with the occasional annoying reaggeton).

However... The Kid and I are not dating, but he for sure loves to flirt with me. The thing is that right now I am trying to figure out my life and perhaps enjoy my happily single status, at least for a while. Besides, I have discovered that I have a hard time with casual relationships. I am not sure what it is about me that I end up getting too involved. It might not happen, but I don't want to take chances.

All this said, maybe I will soon meet the person that makes me change my mind about singlehood, but I want to enjoy it until/if such thing happens.

But despite the flirtation and constant company, I am clear on one thing: The Kid and I will not be an item. Like I said, he is five years younger than I, on the other hand, I don't feel like committing right now and I am not good at casual relationships either. I will probably talk about it in another entry.

The last incidents with The Kid occurred this weekend. On Friday, I don't think I was in my best behaviour. After eating with my friend Smee (will talk more details about that in a next entry), I knew that the party was at Webster Hall at the Lower East Side. So I came with The Kid... But left with someone else. (And before any of you assume, I can assure you nothing happened).

So, to compensate for Saturday, as soon as I found out that there was a Desi Party in Tonic (via three guys I met there), I called the kid and urged him to come, which he did. I made him meet the other guys, and finally, we left. He flirted with me and told me twice that he wished he was 32. He can be funny like that

OK... More to come soon. I need to break down the pool of entries so I can update weekly.

Last Couple of Weeks Part 1: Starting Work , Moving to My Apartment and Figuring Out My Budget.

Thanks partly to lack of internet at home it took me a while to come back to keep you guys posted about my life again (and read of you in the process) didn't it?

Anyway...

There has been way too much going on these past two weeks that I am going to have to break it down. I will try, however, to summarize as much as you can, so it does not feel overwhelming.

I started to work, and so far, it has been a good experience, although I am still adapting. I will talk as little as I can about work because, after all, I work with a lot of clients, so confidentiality is a paramount. I can tell you, however, that I have become well acquainted with Elena, the Puerto Rican lady in the cubicle across from me.

One of the things of living in New York is the awareness of how expensive it can be, and how one has to look for ways for 1.Figure out one's budget, and 2. How to balance the check and buy good things in cheap prices. Or at least decent prices. So, for the time being, my lunch and sometimes even my dinner consists on protein shakes, except for saturdays, sundays and, well, some fridays. This has nothing to do with diet and everything to do with prices. One of the protein shakes, the one I lunch on every day, is $2.25 in the deli I eat it at. The other one has less calories and more protein but is slightly more expensive too. $3 or $4 depending on where you buy it. The upside is that I am loosing some weight, but not very rapidly. In the weekends I eat with friends and oftentimes they pay my meals totally or partially. And by the way, my job gives me an hour of lunch break which is nice, because I can take a walk towards Broadway, or seat in the sun, but whatever I do, I will be out of the stress of work, which trust me, some days can be stressful. I do enjoy my job thought.

Speaking of body issues. I got a new Gym subscription at the New York City Parks and Recreation gyms. I can go to any of them in any of the five boroughs and all for $75 a year. I am starting tomorrow.

I also finally moved to Astoria, which is a beautiful zone in Queens. Manhattan is Manhattan, that is true, but Astoria is pretty damn good with lots of cafes, stores, bodegas to buy fresh fruit at cheaper prices, and some other nice surprises. I think moving to Queens has been one of the best decisions I have made. I still love Manhattan, and stay there long after I finish working, but Astoria is really great, convenient and has places to enjoy on those nights you are too tired to go to Manhattan but still want to have some fun. Also, I have double the space Gabby has in her apartment for more than half the price.

I live with a white American gal, Jess. We get along well so far, and each of us is also doing her own thing, which is the best kind of roommate to have after a good friend. I felt really motivated to clean the house on my own because of this.

I am also happy that G. got a job in New York and is still here. The rest of my classmates are in the suburbs (Jersey, Long Island) so it is good to have someone in one of the boroughs. But also I have made a few friends along the way.

I will break it down in days to come. These are just the first details.

Summarizing the last two days. (Two days away from my return to New York)

Okay, after studying yesterday, I went to Damen. This is an avenue here in Chicago that is famous for its artistic scene and its cafes. When I entered to Reckless Records, which is a record shop famous for having a wide selection of Chicago's local underground bands, and other underground music... It downed on me that I might be one of the few, if not the only Hispanic in the shop. I made a deconstruction of the experience in my other blog.

After that, O. T. paged m. OT is a lawyer and a third generation Mexican American whom I met in Livejournal, where we both blog.. This would be the second time this guy and I would hang out together. He lives in Chicago, but it is in my third visit here that we had the chance to meet personally. We ate at Earwax Cafe (which, despite the potentially repeling name, it serves excellent Vegetarian sandwiches), and then, he decided to show me a bit of the city.

We both walked to a bar in Milwakee, which name escapes me. The owner was very friendly and intelligent and we three talked about politics. We were discussing the possibilities of McCain winning, and he came with the theory that McCain might pick Condolezza as his running mate. That would be the ultimate irony, but I think this election has been about ironies and about being a bit more frank about issues that in America are pretty much taboo (institutionalized racism and sexism still alive). I think I will go about this in my other blog.

Back to the bar: different concerts, and as far as bars go, this one looked really nice, albeit too dark for my taste (but maybe lights were not on because it was still daylight). Then, O.T. walked me much of the way through Damen and we stopped in a second bar. At the beginning, I was reluctant and I wanted to go to the lounge besides it, but I felt I was too informally dressed (it was all in the shoes), so we ended up in the bar.

Aside of the fact that smoking is forbidden in the bars (this law has NOT been passed in South Carolina as I write), the bars here in Chicago have ambience. While I still prefer lounges, I have hope in finding bars with it.

Right after that, OT walked me to the station and we talked a lot about many things. He is an awesome guy and I would definitely love to hang out with him again.

Then, I spoke with SJ, one of my long distance buddies I met rather randomly. We have talked for a year and have built quite a good friendship. He placed new pictures in his profile and I went through them... That after he buzzed me to say hi. Tired to type to him, I decided to call and we talked for a while. Sometimes it is much better to hear a friend's voice. It feels more human.

Today was rather boring. I was disappointed because I wanted to get out for the second to last time before going to New York. But at least I could concrete some appointments of people who will show me apartments (mostly in Astoria, a zone in Queens that I love). In addition, I have various hang out propositions. Let's see how it all pans out.