Vandalism With a Point, and the Fascination with Anti-Heros.

I was waiting for the subway in one station when I saw something that caught my eye.

If you ride the subway (and chances are good you do if you live in New York City and especially if you commute to Manhattan often), you know that vandalism in the subway stations is really common, and it is especially true when it comes to the sticky announcements. Faces with painted mustaches, with bubblegum on it or with written things are among the things you see in the subways.

So, this is what caught my eye: I have no cable TV but I know Showtime has all these popular shows, which are all lumped together in the same announcement. So you see the pictures of the protagonists of Californication, Weeds, The Tudors, State of the Union, Diary of a Call Girl and Dexter. In each of these, the vandalist wrote the moral flaws of these characters with the words "Hero?" under them. I don't remember what did he put in State of the Union, but I can tell you about the other five:
Californication: "Sex addict. Hero?"
Weeds: "Drug Dealer. Hero?
The Tudors: "Poligamist. Hero?"
Diary of a Call Girl: "Prostitute. Hero?"
Dexter: "Murderer. Hero?"

Well, Showtime seems to have a knack for anti-heros these days. Or maybe they are reflecting 21st century obsession with anti-heros? Are we recognizing we are humans or are we, as a generation tired of heroes who save the days in traditional ways, but we just don't want someone we identify with?

A Great Colorful Week

Last week was great in many ways (Although it was ominous in others, like the death of a dear friend of the family!

Monday: Went to Bryant Park for an international chat. It was interesting being with average joes and plain janes besides the tent where they were celebrating Fashion Week! Unfortunately, I could not stay for long because I had to go to see Bottle Shock at the Quad Cinema with another group. Not only the movie was worth it (not exactly a classic, but it was worth my 10 bucks!) but then I moved on to talk about the movie with two of the guys of the group in a cozy coffee shop! My perfect night!

Tuesday: A Friendly Neighbour decided to help me out to save while buying groceries. He took me to Costco's where he is a member and adviced me what was worth buying there!

Wednesday: Sattvic and I went to watch the game of the Mets Vs the Washington Nationals live! It was the first time for both of us and the first time watching a game. It was funny because then Sattvic and I both discovered we were both afraid of heights, but were watching the game from such a height anyway.
That night, we both returned to Jackson Heights and we both talked about love. We seemed to be on the same page except that at times I seemed more bitter. He said that he has been in love, and I replied that I am not sure I was ever in love "although I did love the guys I was with, and suffered for the breakups. He would tell me that his belief was that this kind of love comes with time and with the right person. All this discussion was while eating a Mexican food.

Friday: Sattvic was bored and decided to come over to my place. We watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo, and I showed him this blog. So in other words, he is the second person offline and the first in New York that knows about it, but we have grown to be very good friends and I am not being too revealing or personal in my blog anyway, so why not.

Saturday: I went to the art galleries of Chelsea on my own and then met G., Chaitya and Aish in a Jazz Bar in the West Village. It was yet another of those perfect nights! A jazz bar and four gals! (It felt like a Sex and the City chapter at times!) The only complaint I have is that I don't like to drink in public places and I had to pay 13 dollars for the stupid drink and had to force myself to drink a bit. G. gave me some ideas about how this could be worked out next time. I overall had fun with the gals!

Sunday: Another solo coffee shop day and then went to buy a variety of vegetables. Also caught up with Nishant (who is in India, but is moving to NJ (Woo Hoo!) and with S, after a while not chatting (Dang, when is he visiting New York anyway) I am also planning the weeknights with Swapna. I topped the week cooking an awesome pasta with vegetables, tomato paste and fake meat. Delicious!

The First Philosophical Entry: About Those Dentine Ads...

(Warning: It is cross-posted in my Livejournal!)

One of the things that attracts my attention about many of the subways in New York City is that publicity about a product or show takes a whole car of a train for promotion of a product.

Last friday, however, publicity worked on me. I saw those Dentine ads all over the cart I was riding on my way to meet a friend. Basically, this group of ads was playing with the ideology of how the internet seems to be, well dehumanizing us and what should be there instead. For example "The Ultimate Instant Message" is a picture of a kiss. "Friends Requested" has two people hugging each other. And "Chat Room Full" has a group of people lying on each other. And in the bottom of the ads, they say such things as "close the browser, get close" and stuff like that.

Of course, this is not the first time that such a philosophy is used to sell a product. I wonder what many media critics have to say about this. For me the whole thing was intriguing. What has a gum that cleans teeth has to do with re-humanizing us humans anyway? Will Dentine return that? What about bloggers like myself? Should we become lecturers.

I am not one who plays in the anti-Internet campaign, mind you. I love it! I love the possibilities it gives me to communicate with others! It brought me the possibility to meet likeminded people offline here in New York.

Anyway... I think those Dentine ads are, indeed, intriguing.

Cravings: Your Worst Enemies... And other Things that Set New York Apart.

Cravings can be your worst enemies... But in my current case, it has nothing to do with dieting and everything to do with keeping the budget.

I had a big craving of rice and vegetables. So, I tried to look for a place to eat that stuff and I ended up eating in a Brazilian buffet.

Now, in my experiences, buffets in New York are different than buffets in other cities by one important factor: they weigh the food and you pay according to the weight. An annoying thing if you ask me, because you have to be carefully arranging the food so you don't pay more than what you intend to pay.

I can't remember the name of the Brazilian buffet where I ate today, but it is located in Broadway, if you get down of the train and the bridge on the left side.

Another anecdote of New York singularities: I was once returning home with The Kid when we passed by the New York Sports Club, a gym close to my home, also in Broadway. The Kid asked "Instead of going to those gyms in Manhattan, why don't you go there?"
"Because this is New York City." I replied.
See, I would love to go to that gym. In a perfect world, I would afford it. But reality is that you go to gyms according to your budget rather than according to the distance or whether you like it. I don't even want to try new passes. I would suffer.

And is it just me or some lounges are becoming the economic answer to clubs, at least in Manhattan? Lounges are too small to get a pack dancing, and I think that with age I have grown tired of small places that are too crowded. Last saturday I went to Leopard Lounge/Sing-Sing after I met VJ for dinner and I didn't last too long in there. I felt claustrophobic, to tell you the truth. Besides, it was, well "one more party," but I went to meet The Kid there.

Jersey and the Accents.

Last Friday was the day to visit Suburbia again... I went to Newport, New Jersey and found The Kid there. The going to Newport gave me some surprises...

1. The mall is great! and some necessary things will be bought there, I think, like makeup.
2. The Jackson Heights of Newport (I wish I knew its name). And they had a great authentic quality of Indian food as well. I forget the restaurant where we eat, but boy, the best dosas I had in a while are there.
   

The Kid also became romantic with me again. Especially during our return from New Jersey to New York. I like the physicality of it all (No, no sex, but the mere hugs, kisses, holding hands) and strangely enough, I feel a mixture of flattery and suffocation when he shows jealousy when I talk to or about other guys.

Ironically enough, there was a Latin party in the Guggenheim, but it became late in New Jersey to go there at all. I was tired

So, what else.

On Saturday, I went to the Gita studies... And it seems Satvic and I always find each other in the same train. When we returned, we talked about many things, like his observation that, while the Mandir can be a place for spiritual pursuits, it can also serve as a network. Satvic and I talked so much in the train returning to Queens that I missed my stop, but it mattered little. Then, Satvic and I started talking about accents. I was making the observation that, like me, Satvic came to the United States when he was 19 years old (and I don't know his age, but I assume he is either my age or no more than two years younger). My accent is this exotic mixture from nowhere, product of refusing both the horrible South Carolinean accent and having a majority of friends from everywhere but South Carolina back in college (and that includes American friends, most of whom were from different states, or second generation foreigners). Satvic, instead, speaks like a perfect New Yorker, and I told him that "But of course" he replied, "I am a New Yorker." Then came the compliment that made my day... I always speak with a smile in my face! I was not that aware of it, you know.

Don't worry, I won't get cocky about it.

A Pool Closes, A Pool Opens, Dollars I have to Make worth... And the Weekend's best Laid Plans.

1. Not having bought groceries last sunday, I have had to eat my breakfast outside. It has been for the most part $1 Nature Valley bars that I buy on my way to work. Except for today, when I went to Starbucks and took one small protein shake from a brand of smoothies I don't remember. It is low in calories.
2. Today, however, I ate bits here and there, perhaps because walking a lot in the middle of the heat makes you hungry and loose energy. Let alone that I had a very busy (and very accomplished) day at work. So I ate a small sandwich at Thalia, an ice cream yogurt, a cereal bar and some chocolate... I guess I am going to have to walk a little less...
   
3. I explored some stores, including Sephora. I experimented with some makeup and I was pleased with what I got. It looked natural but I looked more fresh. I will buy this next friday with my fat check (don't get me wrong, I won't burn all the money, OK?
4. My best female friend and ex-roommate in college, who I will call Swapna (oddly enough, this is the second time I rename someone with the name of someone else I know. But this is the name that I can make a connection with) is coming to New York this coming September. I told her she could stay at my house, something I will tell Jess soon. Swapna's fiancee, "Harshit," might come too, reason for which I need to investigate an accomodation. Swapna comes both for a course of Genetics here, and to look for a job in New York. As much as I love this apartment and I am very pleased with Jess, if Swapna lands on a job and has not married Harshit at that time, I will move with her... That will be in a year though.
5. So anyway... On the job front, things have got much better. I started seeing four clients and I even saw five today. And even in complicated cases, I managed. It boosted my confidence as opposed to last week.
6. On Sunday, I went with Satvic to a Mandir (for those not Indian or familiar with Hinduism or Indian terms, Mandir is synonim of Hindu Temple). It is North Indian and Bengali for the most part, but it is near my house. I am still eager to go to the South Indian Mandir in Jamaica, the Ganesha Temple with the Jeweler, but I will have to talk to her. Or maybe I will go on my own. I am most familiar with South Indian traditions, and my trend of having a bunch of South Indian friends has not changed since I moved to New York. But I will definitely will come back to the mandir near Astoria quite often.
7. But speaking of friends in communities, tomorrow there is a Latino party in Guggenheim. There is also another one on Saturday. I want to go to the one on friday because it is more of a networking event. I was telling The Kid that I don't want to party every single friday and saturday. At 29, I have noticed that doing this in two consecutive days wears me out. Now imagine me doing this every weekend. I need more variety, you know.
8. I will work extra hours three days a week. It will be a welcome gain of extra money, extra experiences, and some other good advantages.
9. Touched base with G. We will see each other next week. I need to touch base with quite a few of my classmates!
10. Yesterday I went to the Y! Gym (I enter for free as a perk of working at the agency where I work). It was WAY BETTER than I expected.
11. I am reading Personal Velocity, by Arthur Miller's daughter (The name escapes). It is a great book!
12. An asshole from my earlier years of highschool was talking about me in Facebook saying that I was planing to get even on everyone. And I am getting even, as the best revenge is living well. I used my real name at the time, and right now I am using my nickname, so there is no way for him or the rest to tell that I am around. I knew this because the only worthy classmate I had pointed me to that forum. That confirms I have no interest in connecting with those people!
13. Ohh! Back on Sunday. I went to Jackson Heights and invested in a deal that was there. So, in that store, I was calling the lady Auntie and she asked me if I was from Afghanistan, which is something people tend to ask when I am in Muslim context, wearing a proper South Asian dress. I tend to get mistaken for a lot of nationalities, but this was the first time I was mistaken as Afghan while in jeans and a shirt (I Usually get things like "Italian" "Israeli," "Egyptian" and the sort. G pointed out the equation: "Saying Auntie + Dark hair + Tall + Fair = Afghan/ Persian." I knew in New York, which has double and triple the diversity than South Carolina, where I lived before coming here, people mistaking me for other as the Latina I am would multiply... Interestingly enough, also more Latinos identify me as one of their own without me having to speak. They speak Spanish to me immediately!
    
14. That's all I have so far... Unless I remember other things.
    

Adaptations, Studies, Economy and a Period of Learning

Once August start, I will start studying for my LMSW test. For now, my biggest concern is adapting to work. Last week, it was challenging. This week, so far, my boss seems pleased with my progress, but I need to do well at any rate.

Did I talk about the New York City Parks and Recreations gyms? Didn't I? OK. They are good, especially the ones in Chelsea and East 54. Now, do NOT expect an Equinox or other fancy stuff! They are nice enough though, with all the necessary equipment, and even though I admit I miss my university gym, this community center ones are enough for me. I plan to alternate these with the Y! gym in Manhattan, because it is free for the employers of my company. Tomorrow I am planning to go.

S. called me last thursday, because he was going to India. He called me from the airport minutes before he left. That is very sweet of him. Last sunday I spoke to him via chat also and he told me Hyderabad was more crowded and other more changes last time he went. "I feel like a tourist here, " he would say. "Streets that used to be familiar to me are completely new." Made me wonder what should I expect from Hyderabad when I go there... Something I plan to do within two or three years.

Let us go back to thursday. I hung out with CK once again and he made some confessions of his own. He is married, but there are issues in his marriage that turned him into a very cynical person. He was also telling me that he saw the same with his friends. I have met another guy with sort of the same vision than him, a guy I used to go to school with. I am basically talking about views on marriage, sexuality and the life of couples. Both of them agree on one thing: live your life as you wish but be clear with others so they don't get hurt. If they get it, enjoy. I will leave it at that.

Now, I guess this is the time I can learn about every view in the continuum. The Kid also told me he does not believe in love either, but he believes in Romance. So, what exactly is love for people? Is it that life in New York turns people into cynics. Is this one of the points in Sex and the City (especially Candance Bushnell's book as opposed to the TV series, although the series had much of it!) Is this a view exclusive of New York? Or is it all over the place? At any rate, sometimes I think, if this is true, I feel I have confirmed being happily single.

So anyway, I guess I already talked about the parties I went last weekend in my last entry. On friday, at the birthday party of Eric Vega, I met Ganesh (I know a Ganesh in real life, and it is not him. Remember that I am changing the names of the people in this blog). It happens that we just clicked. It is like my friend the Jeweler was saying: "In New York, you either click with people or you don't." Ganesh also told me something along these lines when I met him. We went to a place to eat sweets at the Lower East Side (I wish I knew the name! It has a really good Tres Leches, a desert so good that many countries in Latin America claim it their own, although I am humble enough to say that it came from either the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico or Nicaragua) and then we stayed talking at the Union Square for a while. I spent a good time with Ganesh! He called me on Sunday to check on me and see that we could possibly get together in the weekend.

On Saturday I finally met the lady I will call The Jeweler. She has a beautiful jewel store at the Upper East side of Manhattan. She was telling me that the economic situation of the US of A is being felt in businesses like her own. I then met a Turkish friend of hers who was in more or less the same situation... That made me follow both things with interest: the economic situation (although I thread with caution, because these days is hard to tell realistic concerns from naive optimistm or scandalous pesimism) and how the presidential candidates are willing to solve this mess. So yes, I am also following the elections with more interest than before.

At night I learned another lesson; part of the reason I am a bit tired of clubbing (or at least not into it as I was in my early and mid 20's) is about how hard it is to meet people. I honestly prefer networking events, retreats and gettogethers. The last bunch of people I met in Tonic, a bar restaurant in Times Square was right before the Indian-themed party in the second floor, for which they were coming. It is funny that I got the attention of one of them because he saw me writing.

I am also looking forward to meet VJ sometime this week. He lives in Connecticut, but close enough to New York.

Wait for part 2 of this series of entries. I need to finish the pool so the cummulative effects do not come anymore.

The Entry Where I Talk About Networking...

Everybody knows New York is expensive... But that does not mean one has to do things, like staying prisoner in your house.

And with the crowds of New York, it can get lonely...

But it does not have to be this way. One simply has to go carefully, risk some, and network some.

So, for one, I use Meetup and know some people through it. Orkut and Facebook help a lot, but Meetup allows you to meet people in addition to know any good activities and groups.

Another weapon is going to networking events. G. was in an organization that was hosting an event at the Sundaran Tagore Gallery in Chelsea (by the way, I should go to Chelsea more often to see the galleries. It is like entering to mini museums of Modern art. And for free!) I met quite a few souls there.

Also, I went to two parties this weekend: Eric Vega's birthday in Webster Hall (located in the Lower East Side) and an Indian-themed party in Tonic (which is in Times Square!). And I have met some people there.

The retreat I had in May was another good way to meet people.

Also, I have a book called NYC Free and Dirt Cheap as a guide.

So, see, New York can be fun for people under a budget too. It is all a matter of knowing how to manage.

These Past Two Weeks Part 2: Central Park Concerts and The Kid

Well, as you know, there are a lot of free events at Central Park this summer. I already went to my first free concert in which I enjoyed Dengue Fever and Rachid Taha. There, I also finally met the guy who in this blog I will call "the Kid." Like me, The Kid is pretty much starting his career here in New York. We both met some of the members of Dengue Fever, and it was great fun. Once the concerts finished, we walked a lot of avenues in Manhattan to end up eating in a restaurant called Agra at the 6th street (between Lexington and 3rd, I believe), and the kid was clever enough to make sure the waiter would get very authentic food (even though it was North Indian). This occurred after trying to eat at Fig and Olive only to realize that it was beyond our budget. Ever since, The Kid and I have given each other a lot of company, hanging out together everywhere. There was a party at Tavern at the Green and we both went together. We also dined together at Tierras Colombianas here in Astoria (not the best choice for a vegetarian person on a tight budget, even with someone else paying and all. The juices are amazing though, and The Kid loved the sweet plaintain with Guava paste and cheese), and then we hung out together and flirted a lot in Bungalo, a lounge in Broadway street not far from that restaurant. Really cozy, and decent music to dance (with the occasional annoying reaggeton).

However... The Kid and I are not dating, but he for sure loves to flirt with me. The thing is that right now I am trying to figure out my life and perhaps enjoy my happily single status, at least for a while. Besides, I have discovered that I have a hard time with casual relationships. I am not sure what it is about me that I end up getting too involved. It might not happen, but I don't want to take chances.

All this said, maybe I will soon meet the person that makes me change my mind about singlehood, but I want to enjoy it until/if such thing happens.

But despite the flirtation and constant company, I am clear on one thing: The Kid and I will not be an item. Like I said, he is five years younger than I, on the other hand, I don't feel like committing right now and I am not good at casual relationships either. I will probably talk about it in another entry.

The last incidents with The Kid occurred this weekend. On Friday, I don't think I was in my best behaviour. After eating with my friend Smee (will talk more details about that in a next entry), I knew that the party was at Webster Hall at the Lower East Side. So I came with The Kid... But left with someone else. (And before any of you assume, I can assure you nothing happened).

So, to compensate for Saturday, as soon as I found out that there was a Desi Party in Tonic (via three guys I met there), I called the kid and urged him to come, which he did. I made him meet the other guys, and finally, we left. He flirted with me and told me twice that he wished he was 32. He can be funny like that

OK... More to come soon. I need to break down the pool of entries so I can update weekly.

The Why's Rules, and Procedures of This Blog.

There are reasons why am I doing a public blog about my life in New York. Perhaps for some of you there are purely egotistical reasons. Some of these exhibitionist reasons are there, but there is a lot more to it.

First of all, I have a blog in Livejournal and I am faithful to that blog. While the events in this blog are based on my real life, the nature of my blog in LJ is more intimate. That one is a blog I use for purely therapeutic reasons, and I don't mean rants alone. The nature of the entries here might be a bit different, part of the reason being that I cannot force anyone to be members of LJ, especially when they don't blog. Besides, I don't want all the readers to know about certain topics, and that is an advantage LJ offers, to chose which fellow LJ ers can know what. Of course, if any of you wants to get in touch with me because you happen to use an LJ, that is fine, especially if you live far away. Otherwise, sometimes I choose a public topic for public LJ entries too.

Anyway... Why the Blogger version of Life and Philosophy in the Urban Landscape?

1. Exhibitionism aside, I want to expose my life with a purpose. I want to communicate the successes and pitfalls of a person with a learning disability living in a city like New York. I want to touch people who are challenged in certain ways and give them faith, but also give a realistic portrait of my entrance into adult life. I came this far of graduating in a country that did not birth me, making it in communities that did not birth me, and right now, looking for more personal growth. It is a matter of inspiring others, and occasionally even myself.
2. To communicate with old (and even new) friends IF they want to do so. This is a way of not imposing myself in a way an e-mail would smack as. I have left many friends behind who might want to be in touch with me, and I think a blog can accomplish this kind of communication.
3. To be able to network with other wordsmiths.
4. To pave the way for less personal and more intellectual blogs.
   

Anyway, there are some rules and procedures.

1. Intimate details are out of the question. This is after all a public space.
2. The people I talk about are real people, and because of this, I will alter their names. Such alterations can go from the initials of their names, to name changes, to nicknames.
3. In that tradition of name alterations, don't expect me to reveal secrets of friends, or very intimate details about THEIR lives. If such friends are reading this now, you can rest assured that your secrets will be safe with me.
4. Like I said before, I compile details in a diary and from these details I will decide what can and cannot come to the blog.
5. I will mention a lot of places in the New York City area... Because they are awesome or not so awesome, and because they are part of my life.
   

In addition, apparently this might turn into a weekly affair. It is hard for me to update this blog daily with such a tight schedule like I am having now. Fridays and/or Saturdays might be my designated day.

Stay tuned... If you want.

Last Couple of Weeks Part 1: Starting Work , Moving to My Apartment and Figuring Out My Budget.

Thanks partly to lack of internet at home it took me a while to come back to keep you guys posted about my life again (and read of you in the process) didn't it?

Anyway...

There has been way too much going on these past two weeks that I am going to have to break it down. I will try, however, to summarize as much as you can, so it does not feel overwhelming.

I started to work, and so far, it has been a good experience, although I am still adapting. I will talk as little as I can about work because, after all, I work with a lot of clients, so confidentiality is a paramount. I can tell you, however, that I have become well acquainted with Elena, the Puerto Rican lady in the cubicle across from me.

One of the things of living in New York is the awareness of how expensive it can be, and how one has to look for ways for 1.Figure out one's budget, and 2. How to balance the check and buy good things in cheap prices. Or at least decent prices. So, for the time being, my lunch and sometimes even my dinner consists on protein shakes, except for saturdays, sundays and, well, some fridays. This has nothing to do with diet and everything to do with prices. One of the protein shakes, the one I lunch on every day, is $2.25 in the deli I eat it at. The other one has less calories and more protein but is slightly more expensive too. $3 or $4 depending on where you buy it. The upside is that I am loosing some weight, but not very rapidly. In the weekends I eat with friends and oftentimes they pay my meals totally or partially. And by the way, my job gives me an hour of lunch break which is nice, because I can take a walk towards Broadway, or seat in the sun, but whatever I do, I will be out of the stress of work, which trust me, some days can be stressful. I do enjoy my job thought.

Speaking of body issues. I got a new Gym subscription at the New York City Parks and Recreation gyms. I can go to any of them in any of the five boroughs and all for $75 a year. I am starting tomorrow.

I also finally moved to Astoria, which is a beautiful zone in Queens. Manhattan is Manhattan, that is true, but Astoria is pretty damn good with lots of cafes, stores, bodegas to buy fresh fruit at cheaper prices, and some other nice surprises. I think moving to Queens has been one of the best decisions I have made. I still love Manhattan, and stay there long after I finish working, but Astoria is really great, convenient and has places to enjoy on those nights you are too tired to go to Manhattan but still want to have some fun. Also, I have double the space Gabby has in her apartment for more than half the price.

I live with a white American gal, Jess. We get along well so far, and each of us is also doing her own thing, which is the best kind of roommate to have after a good friend. I felt really motivated to clean the house on my own because of this.

I am also happy that G. got a job in New York and is still here. The rest of my classmates are in the suburbs (Jersey, Long Island) so it is good to have someone in one of the boroughs. But also I have made a few friends along the way.

I will break it down in days to come. These are just the first details.

Hopes, Tough Times, and Fast Advances

My first days in New York have been interesting.

Friday: Went to see my first two apartments, both in Astoria (a beautiful area in Queens). I liked the first because my roommate would be a girl, the kitchen was big enough and it had enough closet space. The second one had a very small bedroom and I did not like it. In addition, I went to a job interview. At night, my friend VJ and I were planning to hang out, but I was really tired, and was going to tell VJ I would cancel. He canceled first ad I could not be happier.

Saturday: During the day I saw one apartment in Sunnyside Queens that I loved. I had a very spacious bedroom in front of the room, a decent enough kitchen, a cute little dog, and a guy who would not be there at night because he owned a night club. On my way, Satvic called to invite me to some Gita studies, but it was so unfortunate I was busy.

In the afternoon, I went to eat with my uncle Ant. and my aunt C. to 212 New York. These are people who have been good friends of my family, particularly my father and my uncle. We were laughing, remembering childhood memories and eating a good breakfast food.

After a beauty routine, and buying a few shirts my sister was suggesting, I returned home to become in contact with BB, an old Facebook friend. We met at the Korean Path, where he was staying. We were trying to look for a place to eat and chill out, and we went through much of Times Square with that purpose. I was afraid that I would choose a restaurant that would end up being expensive. We ended up in a restaurant in the 8th avenue, which name I can't remember. When I read the menu, I thought it was expensive, but he replied it was nowhere near as expensive as Dublin or London. Still, even though he asked for the most expensive entry ($30) I settled for the appetizer ($10... Very expensive for an appetizer).
After that, BB and I went back to the hotel and waited for his friend Raj. From them on, we went back to Times Square searching for a bar or club. We even entered to Hard Rock Cafe, but got out immediately. We ended up at the jazz club at the Columbus Circle, but we were in the third to last song. Then I decided to return because I am still staying with Gabby, and I don't have the key to her apartment.

Sunday: This was a bit of a frustrating day to me. I had some rashes in the skin that did not let me move very well. I saw a couple of apartments. One was too far a walk for the train and too small. The other one did not even have a livingroom. Then, the guy of the Sunnyside apartment called me and I said that I needed to meet him before a final decision, so we decided to meet on Monday. At night Bijilash called to invite me to go to the sight-seeing bus with him, but I was too itched, and needed to wake up tomorrow early.

Yesterday and Today: Work went great, and they are willing to give me a work permit if I pass the probation. YAY! In addition, I called the Sunnyside apartment guy twice, and he did not answer. But Jn called and I accepted. When I was going to look for the key, the guy paged me saying that he would not be in the apartment that night and whether we could finalize details tomorrow, but I made up my mind. (Besides, what guarantees me he would be there tomorrow if he could not keep the appointment and would not call me?) So, now I have a beautiful room in Astoria with a female roommate and three trains nearby! At night, I ate at the apartment of my uncle and aunt, and we went to the sun deck... There was a wonderful view of New York. Too bad I did not bring the camera!!!

And also... Ck, a guy I met at the subway called me. It happens that we were going to meet today, and we had to put it for tomorrow. But then he said "I want to have a date with you." ERRR WHAT? I will go, but I would like to warn him that this is not a date, and that I am not ready for dates. I just need to find the appropriate tone and words to be polite. Either I am overprotecting myself or some people go way too fast!

As a sidenote: The adjustment to New York. Gabby advised me to be highly restricted these first few months in order to figure out how much can I save or I have left from rent and basic needs. My awareness of New York being expensive is making me scared. Before you jump on Gabby, this is something I know already, and from time to time the question of whether I will be able to survive New York haunts me like a ghost. Of course, what I desire the most is friends. But still... I feel scared.

Landing In New York... Where it all Will Unleash

Between yesterday and today, I have been feeling very edgy. It might be due to the stress of change. I was not coming here with the smile on my face I expected to arrive with. For a neurotic person like myself, being over the edge is not a good thing.

I hope I find an apartment within a week. I was going to have my first two interviews but I canceled both. I was (and still am) extremely tired. Tomorrow, however, I have two or three interviews for apartments. Let us see how those go.

I have plenty of things to do and I need to organize my time. I need to keep studying for the licensure, send things to the ASWB of New York, and hopefully I won't need to cancel social commitments. I also need to buy a pair of jeans and a good partying shirt.

During my trip in the plane, I was feeling bloated and with stomach pain. And feeling bloated means partially feeling fat.

Ahh and now the reasons about coming to New York (aside for the fact that I have a job and friends here).

My sister was a fan of Sex and The City, and there was some quote in a chapter saying that girls came to New York looking for love, or something like that. But I feel I come to New York in search of my destiny or, to quote Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist, to search and live my personal history. Quoting others aside, I need this time and what is happening to me. My heart is soft and I need to make it hard. I need to defy some of the expectations and conventions society has imposed on me, perhaps in a bigger way than I have been doing so until now.

As I landed, clouds covered New York City. I was feeling as if this was a present I was unwrapping, or as if I was feeling in front of the curtain for this chapter in my life.

Summarizing the last two days. (Two days away from my return to New York)

Okay, after studying yesterday, I went to Damen. This is an avenue here in Chicago that is famous for its artistic scene and its cafes. When I entered to Reckless Records, which is a record shop famous for having a wide selection of Chicago's local underground bands, and other underground music... It downed on me that I might be one of the few, if not the only Hispanic in the shop. I made a deconstruction of the experience in my other blog.

After that, O. T. paged m. OT is a lawyer and a third generation Mexican American whom I met in Livejournal, where we both blog.. This would be the second time this guy and I would hang out together. He lives in Chicago, but it is in my third visit here that we had the chance to meet personally. We ate at Earwax Cafe (which, despite the potentially repeling name, it serves excellent Vegetarian sandwiches), and then, he decided to show me a bit of the city.

We both walked to a bar in Milwakee, which name escapes me. The owner was very friendly and intelligent and we three talked about politics. We were discussing the possibilities of McCain winning, and he came with the theory that McCain might pick Condolezza as his running mate. That would be the ultimate irony, but I think this election has been about ironies and about being a bit more frank about issues that in America are pretty much taboo (institutionalized racism and sexism still alive). I think I will go about this in my other blog.

Back to the bar: different concerts, and as far as bars go, this one looked really nice, albeit too dark for my taste (but maybe lights were not on because it was still daylight). Then, O.T. walked me much of the way through Damen and we stopped in a second bar. At the beginning, I was reluctant and I wanted to go to the lounge besides it, but I felt I was too informally dressed (it was all in the shoes), so we ended up in the bar.

Aside of the fact that smoking is forbidden in the bars (this law has NOT been passed in South Carolina as I write), the bars here in Chicago have ambience. While I still prefer lounges, I have hope in finding bars with it.

Right after that, OT walked me to the station and we talked a lot about many things. He is an awesome guy and I would definitely love to hang out with him again.

Then, I spoke with SJ, one of my long distance buddies I met rather randomly. We have talked for a year and have built quite a good friendship. He placed new pictures in his profile and I went through them... That after he buzzed me to say hi. Tired to type to him, I decided to call and we talked for a while. Sometimes it is much better to hear a friend's voice. It feels more human.

Today was rather boring. I was disappointed because I wanted to get out for the second to last time before going to New York. But at least I could concrete some appointments of people who will show me apartments (mostly in Astoria, a zone in Queens that I love). In addition, I have various hang out propositions. Let's see how it all pans out.